Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Betrayal & Lies.. yet people claimed that they love and care for you

Have you ever cried for straight 12hrs and still continue crying?

I didn't know that it hurt so much when you felt being betrayed and by not one but a couple of peoples who close at heart. I can't help but feel worthless, unworthy, feel like a fool..

I wonder why people who I trust the most, whom I loved is willing to choose to lie to me just because he wanted to watch movie without me and claimed to be working.. On top of that, gang up with my peoples whom I regards as best friends to watch movie without me and agreed to hide this from me forever. Reason : Do not want to upset me? How awesome is my bf of 10yrs and my "best friends" friends..

Have you ever caught your partner tell lies to you? I was always boastfuly saying, NO my bf won't lie to me, he is not good at lying.. I am so WRONG!

When I call him that time, he says I'm at work, I was asking how come so noisy, you are outside and he insist he is at work place! On top of that he even tell lies after lies just to cover his LIES! I was like I called your workplace just now looking for "XYZ" but no one answer call, I call like 5-6times thats why I call your HP.. He insisted he is at his workplace..

Then the 2nd lie, he ask me if I drop by at his workplace after I said NO, thinking to give him time to do his stuff at work, end up, He is asking as he worried I went there as he is not at his workplace but at Cathay Cineleisure watching movie preview at 7plus...

When I asked him do I need to get him his dinner, he said NO, I need to work late.. but guess what? While I stupidly wait for him, he went to movie preview and even went to Newton to have seafood dinner! While I naively wait for him for dinner and thinking that my bf is really working hard.. The stupidest thing, I even bought ingredients to prepare dessert when he is here, we can like have it together..

This is my bf of 10yrs that I trusted whole heartedly and confidently.. Even my dad says, this man is trustworthy! But, look at what he has done?

God, I do not want to live in such a miserable way, can you lead me out of these people, all of them! I mean ALL!

Can you lived with a LIAR?

2days ago, I was so happy, so over the moon!

Yesterday I was so mad & today worst, I feel betrayed, feel like a fool, a total idiot!

I don't understand, someone whom I think I can trust 100%, someone that is dear to my heart can tell lies right in front of me, even when I am confronting him! He insisted on his lies, he didn't even bother to tell me the truth after I asked, he even intended to lie to me till the end...

I won't even knew he tell lies if not "XYZ" mentioned something like "at first I thought of ordering baby kailan when we have dinner at Newton Circus but cause you are not here, I didn't ordered".

I feel upset, betrayed and I really do not know how am I going to trust this person anymore.. It wasn't a very big deal and yet he choose to tell lies..

He knew I will be very upset and make a big fuss if I found out that he tell lies to me and yet he do it!

Can you lived with a liar... I am confused and I don't think I want to live with someone who tell lies and hurt me...

God, I want a way out.... Will you bring me far far away?

Monday, October 18, 2010

Late lunch date turn to shopping date for Mr. Gil

17.10.10 ~ It has been a long while (more than a months) since I blogged.. Why I didn't blog or update my blog? Because I am not good at blogging and I'm basically lazy and is busy sourcing information for my aniversaries trip with Mr Gil! Haha..

Today is a good day, it begin with a Church Service at New Creation Church which is my HOME church.. I am so blessed by Pastor Prince ministries and have met a lot of wonderful people at this church and most important, I learned the Gospel of Grace and the finish work if Christ!

After church service, meet Mr Gil for late lunch at The Vines Steak & Seafood Restaurant located at Novena. Food is average and nothing to shout about. We ordered 1/2 dozen of fresh oysters and Sirloin Steak with 1/2 lobster with add on meals which comes with soup of the day, garlic bread, a slice of chocolate cake and coffee.

Walked to Novena Square & Square 2 to shop around, it has been a while since we really spend time together shopping. We normally spend our day off with friends or else laze at his house.

While strolling level after level at the mall, we came across a group of peoples doing Praise & Worship at a restaurant (Proffessor Brawn). I was WOWed by this & actually think this is cool! I think they are Praise & Worshipping at the restaurant as its their opening.

The most memorable things that actually happen today is Mr Gil found a new lover today at Harvey Norman! His first DSLR camera. I think he like it alot that he bought it immediately after careful explanation by the sales person, Steve.

Normally Mr Gil is someone who will not anyhow spend money and he will carefully calculate and analyse whether or not to buy something. So, I think he really like his new lover! I am happy for him, as he finally can have something he wanted for so long, apart from me of course. Haha... Did I mentioned I did contribute a certain percentage in getting his new lover? Mr Gil, this is your anniversary gift! Where's mine?

I'm very much looking fwd to our trip! Dear Heavenly Father, please bless us, your beloveds and grant us an awesome trip by Your Grace!